There were two different lists recently of the world's happiest countries, one with Norway at #1, and the other with Colombia at #1. Apparently the United States did not top either list. But I think it's possible to get us back to the top of these lists!
Why not write a bunch of newspaper articles claiming all these happiest countries were disparaging and denigrating each other and stuff, and then report that fighting has broken out between them? Then these countries might believe it, and they'd start wars with each other. (William Randolph Hearst did this sort of thing once or twice, I think.)
Then America could sell them all weapons. And the next thing you know, all those happiest countries would be miserable, and America would be the happiest country in the world again! (Because we would be the only country not fighting a war over who is the happiest.)
