I just saw a commercial for Crown Royal Maple where they
suggest a tree dulled the blades of countless axes and wore down every
lumberjack who tried to chop it down. Well, I’ll bet I know how to cut it down: use a chain saw!
And so this would obviously be the entry ad for the new
Texas Chain Saw Massacre Whiskey, the new (supposedly superior) competitor of Crown Royal
Maple. It slices through poseurs and wooden actors to get to the pulp of the
party! Only a “jerky” person wouldn’t prefer it! (Because they were killed and
made into meat jerky by Leatherface, and as such, they have no opinion on whiskey preference.)
Sadly, I cannot seem to find this Crown Royal Maple TV spot
online to give you a link. But you’ll see it on TV if you watch The Daily
Show and Colbert on Comedy Central.
