Ken Kickass & Barbie Beatdown

Yes, you thought Barbie and Ken were just vapid fashionistas and attention whores; but what you didn’t know is that at night they fight crime as brutally vindictive vigilantes, making the world safe for vapid fashionistas and rich attention whores everywhere! (Okay, maybe not everywhere, but certainly within reach of the Barbie Dream RV, or whatever the hell they drive around in.) Because in a world full of impatient rage with empty-headed, rich celebutards, someone must protect these filthy rich, um, are they supposed to be stars or something (?), just in case some hungry unemployed guy tries to steal one of their many multiple-thousand-dollar purses or accessories. And why is that? Well, I think it’s because these people sell crap like that too, and if theirs got stolen, maybe other rich fashionistas wouldn’t buy their products anymore, and then they’d stop being quite as filthy rich. And we can’t have that, right? No! And posing as children’s dolls, nobody would ever expect Barbie and Ken were, in fact, the fearsome vigilante duo: Ken Kickass & Barbie Beatdown! (I mean, people might figure it out from their first names, but I never said they were smart about their vigilante names.)