I watched The Avengers
for the first time last week, and although I didn’t notice it initially, I
believe I now understand the secret agenda of The Avengers. I realized it while watching The Colbert
Report last night. You see, Stephen had on
some global warming guy who is pragmatic about energy stuff, and he said the
green energy technologies simply aren’t efficient enough to produce enough
energy for our needs, and limiting our usage isn’t realistic either, so we must
use natural gas and nuclear energy. And then it hit me: This is what the moral
of the movie The Avengers is!
Seriously, think about it: What happens in The Avengers? Well, Tony Stark creates a self-sustaining energy
source for his building, and it attracts Loki to use it to open a portal for
invaders from another dimension to attack and conquer Earth. See? It’s trying
to say that sustainable energy will destroy the Earth and humanity despite being
well-meaning. (I’m pretty sure that’s what they were trying to say, right? Because
that’s what the story does say,
sort of. Because while they have superheroes in the movie to defeat the
invaders, we don’t have them in our reality, and so how will we fight off the wrath of
gods and alien invaders when they come through the new green energy
technologies? {And they will
come: oil industry spokespersons told me so! And why would they
lie?})
But I think I know why Hollywood is trying to discredit
alternative, self-sustaining energy sources: Yes, without our dirty energy
stuff like oil and gas, how will they be able to blow up cars and trucks in
huge fireballs in their movies? You can’t do that with windmills and solar
panels and electric cars, can you? Of course you can’t! And that’s why Hollywood is trying to destroy green energy!
(You know it’s true!)
(Just kidding! But you can read the movie that way if you want to: there is plenty
of evidence for this thesis. {Yes: going to
college taught me how to argue bullsh!t as truth.} Just think about it: the
first self-sustaining energy source, and it nearly brings Earth to ruin? What
else could it mean?)