We hear a lot about guns these days, and salt, and sugar,
and how they’re all so bad and harmful for everyone, but I never hear about one
of the worst culprits: the color blue!
That’s right, one of the highest causes of death for young people is suicide,
and what makes them do that? Why, it’s feeling blue! The color blue is trying
to kill us all, and we’ve got to stop it! See, I told you! So whether or not
all these other things the government or agenda scientists want to ban are
really evil or not, we definitely know, without a doubt, that the color blue is
killing people all over the place, and well before their prime! So what’s the
answer? Ban the color blue, obviously!
Look, if not for the color blue, nobody would ever get the
blues, feel blue, etc. And then everyone would be happy and productive all the
time! There’s no two ways about it: ban the color blue, or you’re to blame for
all depression and suicide! You might as well admit it. So obviously we’re
going to have to destroy the color blue, and if that means nuking the rainbow
to get rid of it, it will definitely be worth it, no matter the consequences!
And if you don’t agree, then you’re obviously a murderer who’s working for blue
to cause suicides! (And don’t think we don’t recognize you as such, because we
do!)
Brought to you by the color orange: Orange brightens your
day, while blue will ruin it! Don’t look up, because if you see blue in the
sky, you’re about to die! (Orange you glad I didn’t say orange would kill you?
Although based upon the recent orange juice ad campaign, you might get that
idea…)
