We’ve all seen that silly Coca-Cola obesity ad, right? Well,
how about having another sugar-oriented company make an obesity-related ad, but
from the other side? And it must be a candy company, because sugar is being
demonized lately, and candy is non-essential foodstuffs, so it’s really a
matter of survival for them to deflect the anti-obesity message.
So here’s how this would work: rather than saying obesity is
bad and they’re trying to help, they would hit back against the nanny state
politicians and agenda scientists trying to demonize sugar and limit access to
sugary stuff. So what they would do is make an ad that mentions this trend to
demonize sugar and they’d mention the obesity issue, but then they’d say that
people who are trying to limit children’s sugar intake are really just “trying
to steal candy from children.” Then they’d show a line of young children (like
from age 2 to 8, each holding one of their candy bars or candy products, and
some politician in a suit would walk past them and take the candy away,
snatching it right out of their hands. And then all the little kids would start
crying, and the announcer would say: “See? What did I tell you? They’re just
bullying children! What kind of a person would steal candy from a child? It’s
tantamount to child abuse! Why, shame on them, those child abusers! These
children will never get over this traumatic experience! And the stress from
this trauma will make them compulsively overeat! So it’s not candy that causes
obesity, but rather, it’s bullies who want to take candy from children who are
to blame! But this is just the tip of the iceberg, because now they will
require lifelong psychiatric care for their trauma of having their candy taken
away as young children, powerless to stop this injustice. And this will cost
many times what the obesity crisis alone will cost us. So remember, when you
come between a child and their candy, it’s like opening a Pandora’s box of
trouble. (Paid for by Sweet Tooth America PAC.)”
See? So then they could brainwash everyone to think only a
child abuser would try to limit a child’s candy intake, and so anytime anyone
brought up obesity, people would just bully them for wanting to make children
miserable, etc. And candy would flow like, um, wine? No, kids can’t drink wine
because of the bullying government taking alcoholic beverages away from
children. That’s right: kids can’t even drink anymore! What’s this country
coming to anyway? (Just kidding…)
