Tonight, after the police had finally arrested the suspect #2 in the Boston Marathon bombing, there was a press conference; and in that press conference, the Mayor of Boston was in a wheelchair. They said he was in a wheelchair due to a traffic accident that broke his leg, but even so, his head was about at the same height level as everyone else's belt buckle (and there was a big crowd around him, so he was almost entirely getting lost from view in his own press conference). So I thought, surely there ought to be a wheelchair for press conferences that's like a high chair, or a bar stool, on wheels, where the person sitting in it would have their face at the same level as everyone else's. I mean, maybe it's going to have the same size wheels as the front wheel of an old penny farthing bicycle from the 1800s, or maybe it's a bar stool with casters on the legs, but somehow there's got to be a way to get them the gravitas they need for a press conference whether they've broken their leg or what. Or, how about a regular wheelchair with a scissor lift built into it so you can rise above the fray? The slogan could be: "Rise to the occasion and cut through the chatter with the scissor lift wheelchair!" Or: "The scissor lift wheelchair: for the high-minded politician!" (It would be perfect for spouting highfalutin rhetoric!)
Maybe there's a sweet no-bid government contract with some cushy deal to design and build such a thing? In fact, why am I asking you? I've got to swoop in for that no-bid contract while the not-bidding's good! (And naturally, the slogan for this press conference wheelchair company would be: "The high & mighty wheelchair that leaves you head & shoulders above the rest!" {Yes, you can get one on stilts to be taller than everyone else despite sitting down, if you really want to show everyone up!})
Or, hey, maybe everyone else should have to stand on their knees, or sit on the floor. After all, he is the mayor! The least they could do in a situation like this is not steal his thunder! (In the movie Anna & the King of Siam, nobody's head was allowed to be higher than the king's. Maybe the mayor could pass a similar law for press conferences while he's injured? Oh, but that's repressive, so I guess we'll just have to do the tall wheelchair idea, huh?)
