Well, Oz the Great and Powerful was a hit, so they’re going to have to make a
sequel, right? And since the sequel to that story would be The Wizard
of Oz, the only way to go with that is
down, down, down, since the original was so beloved. And so seeing as how they
would get bashed and panned for remaking The Wizard of Oz, but they still need a sequel, they’re going to have
to make a sequel to The Wizard of Oz,
revealing what happens next, and more back story info. So here’s a list of just
a few tantalizing bits, just to whet your appetite for the upcoming Wizard
of Oz sequel:
The Cowardly Lion gets courage, which makes him seem
ferocious and threatening, which ends up getting him shot by the police.
The Tin Man gets a heart, and just in time to die from heart
disease: If only he had been a vegan! (I guess it’s nature’s revenge for him
cutting down so many trees and harming the environment.)
The Scarecrow gets a brain just in time for zombies to
strike and eat his brain. (Oh, the humanity! Lacking a brain was the only thing
saving his life for so long from zombie attacks!)
Also, we find out that when she was younger, the Wicked
Witch of the West had lived in an apartment building with lots of yippy dogs in
all of her neighbor’s apartments, and all their incessant barking all day long
every day had driven her insane and made her wicked, which is why she wants to
kill Dorothy’s dog Toto (and Dorothy too, for owning a little dog like the ones
that made her lose her mind originally). I know this doesn’t exactly fit with
what Oz the Great and Powerful suggests,
but this scenario is far more believable that what the recent movie depicted,
so maybe they should just go with this one. (Plus, think of all the people who
could be saved from turning wicked by overexposure to yippy dog barking if a
movie shined a light on this very real and serious problem of yippy dogs
driving people insane in apartment buildings with their endlessly annoying
ear-splitting barking all day every day.)
(And this last one would help explain why cats are witches’
familiars: because they’re quiet.)
