Thursday, April 18, 2013

Coal Soccer (Joke) Ad

In this (joke) ad for the coal industry, a soccer player, wearing a jersey with the name of a coal company or lobbying group (maybe EnergyTomorrow?) on it, dribbles a ball (which is actually a big round piece of coal) towards the goal (which is the mouth of a big furnace with a smokestack sticking up above it). The soccer player takes a shot at the goal, and the shot beats the goalkeeper, who is some environmental activist (in fact, the soccer player beats a number of players on the defense, all of whom are anti-coal activists, as well as the goal keeper), and the large piece of coal slams into the goal, causing the coal ball the ignite and start a raging inferno inside the furnace/goal, causing thick black smoke to pump forth from the smokestack. And upon the scoring of this goal, the soccer game commentator screams: "Co-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oal!" And the crowd goes wild with cheers and jeers, with the crowd being made up of environmentalists on one side, and coal workers with those trademark coal miner's hats (with the lights on them) on, and with coal miner suits on, and with dirty black coal dust covering their faces, on the other side. And while this is all happening, the announcer talks about how new "clean coal" technology is defeating opposition from environmentalists and conservationists, silencing critics, and reaching America's "goal" of affordable energy with minimal emissions and air pollution. (Of course, what we see completely belies the veracity of the "clean coal" claims, and after cheering for the coal goal, everyone in the crowd coughs awful black lung coughs and try to fan the billowing thick black smoke pouring forth from the smokestack away from their faces as they wheeze and choke from the swirling noxious vapors wafting about the stadium.)