New Terrorist Interrogator: A Dominatrix?

Hey, you know how America does not torture, and how this has somewhat whittled down our terrorist detainee interrogation program, right? Well, how about trying this instead: let’s use a dominatrix to do it! It will be the same type of punishment and whipping and such, but a dominatrix is not torture, it’s a legal form of sexual role-play that involves discipline and shaming and so forth. So it would be just like enhanced interrogation, but it will be not only legal and ethical, it will be providing a very expensive personalized service that lots of rich businessmen pay top dollar for! How could anyone complain about that? (Unless they’re jealous…) Think of all the great intel we’ll get! Terrorist masterminds might even try to get caught on purpose just for the fun interrogations! I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before!