Hey, we all know that Wookies are covered with lush,
beautiful and shiny hair, right? (Well, they are if they use the right shampoo,
that is!) Well, how about a shampoo using Chewbacca the Wookie to show how
great the shampoo works? We could see Chewy getting in all these tight scrapes
and dangerous situations, getting dirty and singed and stuff, but his hair
would always have a glamorously lustrous shine and healthy-looking bounce, no
matter the situation! Whether he’s fighting the empire on a dirty space
station, trudging through the desert on some barren wasteland planet while
trying to escape Darth Vader, or fighting for dear life on some scalding hot
volcanic moon somewhere, Naboo Shampoo always keeps his hair healthy and sexy looking!
(And we see Chewbacca’s fur glowing radiantly with shimmering bounce and full
body in every environment.) And it will work for you, too! (Unless you’re some
Hut-like slug monster, or a lizard/dinosaur creature like Greedo.*)
Then there could be an ad for a strengthening shampoo that
helps heal and prevent split ands and such, and the announcer could show us
Chewbacca’s look when all his fur has split ends. And Chewy would look all
silly and fuzzy, and everyone would giggle and/or look all shocked. Then the
announcer would ask Chewbacca how he feels about split ends, and Chewy would
roar with violent disapproval. Oh, but then he uses the new shampoo that heals
his split ends, and he purrs with glee as his fur looks plusher than ever!
And, hey, how about a Wookie ad for a dandruff shampoo? In
this spot, Chewbacca could walk around, and it would be like it was lightly
snowing, with a thin layer of snow-like dandruff coating every surface! And who
could fail to get that message? (And for those who did fail to understand it,
perhaps some Empire or rebel janitor could come walk behind Chewbacca with a
snow-blower or vacuum cleaner to clean up the layer of dandruff the Wookie’s
fur leaves behind?) And so Chewbacca, Han Solo, Luke and Leia end up getting caught
and executed because Chewy’s dandruff trail lets everyone know they’re there!
Oh, but then our heroic Wookie character could get Head & Shoulders &
The Rest of the Body Dandruff Shampoo, and then the dandruff issue would be
solved!
* (Hey, maybe Greedo could sell weenie bikini swim suits
called “Greedo’s Speedos”? People will be green with envy when they see his
scaly sexiness in his Greedo Speedo!)
