We all know there is now a market for healthy dog food, with brands like Purina One, Blue Wilderness, and Chef Michael's. But how are we supposed to know which one to get if they don't make attack ads against each other, like in politics? So here are a couple of ideas for (joke) attack ads Chef Michael's could make against Purina One and Blue Wilderness.
Purina One Attack Ad: While the Three Dog Night song "One Is the Loneliest Number" plays, we see lots of sad-looking dogs (individually) whining and crying and barking balefully, like in those Sarah McLaughlin ads, only this time they're each alone and sad in an apartment. Then the announcer says: "Yes, one is the loneliest number, and when dogs are alone, they're sad. And feeding them a dog food called "One" will only serve to remind them how alone they truly are, and it will devastate them!" Then we hear even louder, more mournful dog whining and crying, and then it stops, and the announcer adds: "Feed your dog Chef Michael's! With Chef Michael, they will never be alone!" Then we see Chef Michael playing with the dogs, and they're all jumping around joyously, with no more whining.
Here's the sad, lonely Three Dog Night song (sounds more like a one dog night):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5ab8BOu4LE
Blue Wilderness Attack Ad: We hear the doleful howling of wolves in the night as we see a barren desert scape in the blue moonlight. Then the announcer says: "Have you ever wondered why wolves howl in such a melancholy manner? It's because the blue wilderness is so cold, lonely and unforgiving. So why feed your dog something that would remind them of such emptiness and unhappiness? Choose Chef Michael's! It gives your dog the warm comfort of a loving home in every bite!" Then we see Chef Michael petting a happy dog's head as the dog gazes up at him lovingly.
(BTW: This is all just silliness, and of course, Chef Michael's doesn't make any ads like these whatsoever.)
