We all see the problem. How could we avoid seeing it? It’s right there in front of all of our faces. Yes, I’m referring to the deplorable state of inequality in sports scores. Some teams seem to get almost all of the points, and other teams barely can earn any. This is hardly equitable. After all, all teams try equally hard to win, don’t they? So shouldn’t they all earn the same score of points?
Why is it that sports teams are so selfish and greedy when it comes to scoring points and the possession of a mere spherical object? Can’t they share? Have they no humanity? No empathy? No sympathy?
Sure, it’s exciting to win, and to revel in your athletic achievements, but have these championship teams, or individual athletes who receive awards, ever stopped to consider what it’s like for the other teams, those they beat, in some cases mercilessly? These are monstrously barbaric displays of superiority in some cases, like the ACC Championship game today, where Florida State waited to the very last seconds of the game before they even allowed Duke to score their first points of the game. How do you think this makes the losing teams feel? Surely this inequality cannot be permitted to stand! And that’s where our president is getting involved, with a redistribution of points system meant to help the underprivileged sports teams.
“We must fight inequality of achievement wherever we find it, and sports are a very visible example of this problem. If we can correct game scores such that everyone is more equal, society will be better served, and it will set an example for others to follow in every other aspect of life,” said the president Saturday after the NCAA football conference championship games, adding: “I’d like to spread the points around; that way everybody can feel like they’re part of the winning tradition too.”
Republicans immediately condemned President Obama’s sports welfare policy push, claiming that it’s only fun to watch one side get everything while the other side gets crushed underfoot, and that this is what has made America great. The president’s policy, Republicans claim, will push us closer to sports socialism, where everyone’s fun gets ruined because nobody is incentivized to win, and as such no-one is incentivized to perform particularly well or to try hard either, because what’s the point when all the points they score go to the other team. But at least, they admit, the president is no longer using the government to pick winners and losers.
We’ll just have to wait and see whether the president’s sports points equality push for redistribution of points scored in sports games will gain traction with the public.
