Monday, December 16, 2013

Manger Danger (The Yuletide Cursed Manger Horror Movie)

In this Christmasy horror film, a school principal has a horrible time from all sides when a manger scene is placed on school grounds, destroying his life. He didn’t put it there, but he gets the blame, and even after he removes it, he still gets sued over it anyway, and a long drawn out court case occurs where he loses everything and gets fired after the school district, who made him remove it, decides this is making them unpopular when Christians start to complain as well, this time about its removal, threatening to sue too, so they remove him to take the blame for their decisions.

Well, after this experience of betrayal by the school board, hostility from the locals, and the high legal costs, he loses his home and his family, becomes homeless, and is abused by his former schoolchildren and their parents (the kids for being the powerful principal before who is now powerless so it’s revenge time, and the parents because he’s a bad example to their kids for getting fired and being homeless), and so he commits suicide in a manger scene outside a shopping mall, pledging his soul to the devil. Well, this act curses the manger scene (a manger scene which was placed for commercial, rather than spiritual purposes, so it was vulnerable to being cursed, as Jesus was not so big on the worship of money, as you may recall) and, also haunted by the former principal’s ghost, it now becomes an instrument of his will.

And so now the cursed, haunted manger scene appears at will outside schools and government buildings across town looking more elegant and classy and beautiful than ever, but because these are government institutions, they’re not allowed to have a manger scene. Oh, but anyone who attempts to remove or get the manger scene removed suffers a violent death at the hands of the crazed demonic entity that was once the principal. And once they’re all dead, their souls sent to the devil, the manger scene moves to a new location, altering its looks slightly so no-one will recognize it, and the horror continues. (The deaths are unexplained and nobody connects them to the manger scene, which everyone simply assumes got removed when people complained about it.)

And after getting revenge on the whole town, killing all who made his life miserable on account of the manger scene, the cursed manger scene begins showing up in other towns and cities across the country, and the curse continues…

It’s Manger Danger: This is the last manger you’ll ever remove! (Or, Manger Danger: The manger that gets rid of you!)

(Of course, this is just a silly joke to make fun of the annual manger scene controversy we get every Christmastime, so no offense to anyone, I hope. I don’t see how this is any worse than desecrating a church for The Exorcist or End of Days, but I’m sure someone will try to say it is anyway…)