Greenpeace recently released a video where Santa Claus says Christmas is canceled due to global warming melting the North Pole. Well, I think I have come up with a complimentary video concept, where another fictional character talks about ruining Christmas.
Yes, of course I am talking about Scrooge. Surely A Christmas Carol is in the public domain by now, and even if someone owns the rights to the story, surely the characters are available for use by a group like Greenpeace. And here’s how this would work:
A camera set up at Scrooge’s office would turn on, and Ebenezer Scrooge would speak to the camera, saying: “Yes, they all thought they had me beaten, forced to accept and celebrate Christmastime and goodwill toward men, but I fooled them all! I only made them think they’d made a fool of me, and then I got busy: busy working on a plan that will cause the globe to warm up and melt the North Pole, ending Christmas once and for all! How, you ask? Well, I bought up all the oil and coal companies I could, burning and burning it non-stop for years on a massive scale. And it’s working, too: Mwa ha ha! Pretty soon, thanks to all my factory emissions from fossil fuels, Christmas will be no more! Ha ha ha! Take that, Spirits! Finally I will have my revenge!
(BTW: The truth is, Russia is taking over the North Pole because they want the drilling rights. And so it’s pretty clear who has melted the ice caps and driven Santa Claus away, canceling Christmas: the Russkies! They have the most to gain, so it must be them! Plus, now that Russia is no longer a communist country, they will no longer tolerate a Karl Marx-looking guy dressed up in red on the area they have claimed for strip-mining purposes. Hey, now that I think of it, it’s no wonder Putin jailed the Greenpeace activists: they’re trying to help Santa Claus fight global warming so he can stay on the North Pole!)
Here’s the Grinchy Greenpeace ad:
