Yes, Sharknado 2 is coming, and with that, there is established a new type of horror/exploitation film: a natural disaster mixed with an animal. And so then, to fill up the rabid demand for new thrilling movies in this genre, I suggest the exciting Turtlewave!
Yes, it’s Turtlewave, the horrifying “nature strikes back” environmental horror film where endangered sea turtles develop snapping turtle mouths for revenge, and then they all ride a tidal wave into a big city to attack mankind! You know it could happen, and someday it will, but for now it’s only a warning… one that will likely go unheeded, until it’s too late…!
Yes, you’ll wish you could hide in your shell when you see Turtlewave: coming soon to a theater near you!
(And when Turtlewave is a smash hit like we all know it’s going to be, then it’s time for: Bearquake, where a super-powerful earthquake releases an army of prehistoric bears upon Los Angeles, California! And then there’s Marlin Monsoon, where a powerful monsoon throws marlin into a city, impaling everyone on their long dagger snouts! And then, it’s the horrors of Halibut Hurricane*: surely the worst natural disaster to befall mankind ever; unless the locals like eating halibut. But then there’s Cyclops Cyclone, where vicious underground carnivorous Cyclops heretofore unknown to man are dislodged from an underground world to infest mankind with their ravenous brutality!)
* It could be Hammerhead Hurricane, but that wouldn’t be as ridiculously lame or stupid.
* It could be Hammerhead Hurricane, but that wouldn’t be as ridiculously lame or stupid.
