I’ve seen this commercial running on cable news stations a lot lately, and it’s really kind-of irresponsible, I think. Maybe what they’re saying is true, but even if it is, there’s no way 9-1-1 has enough resources to handle all of these calls if every woman called them every time they say to do it in this spot! Seriously: It’s no wonder we’re so far in debt in this country, with the government trying to encourage everyone to abuse and overtax our emergency services resources like this! It’s ridiculous!
So what does this ad do that’s so egregious? Well, it only takes every imaginable symptom of everyday generic fatigue and general discomfort, and they try to make women think it’s a sign of a heart attack! For real! They say if you feel a weight on your chest (okay, reasonable enough), or any minor tightness in your ribcage (a bit less reasonable), or just any squeezing, pressure, or general discomfort (getting ridiculous here…), you should call 9-1-1 immediately! Then they say if you feel any shortness of breath, it’s not that you’re out of shape (that’s just an excuse!), it’s that you’re having a heart attack!! Aaaaa! Quick: Call 9-1-1! Oh, but it’s just getting started here, for then they say that feeling nauseous could mean a heart attack, so you should immediately call 9-1-1 if you ever feel even the slightest bit nauseous! Plus, if you ever feel a cold sweat-type of feeling, you’re probably dying of a heart attack (it’s not menopause! That’s just “an excuse”! It’s a heart attack! Aaaaa!), so call 9-1-1 right now! And, if you ever feel tired or whatever, it’s got to be a heart attack, so you better sprint to the telephone and harass the 9-1-1 operator, or you’ll die! Oh, and also, if you ever feel dizzy, light-headed, or you ever get a headache or anything, you’re probably dying of a heart attack, so you’d better call 9-1-1 if you want to live. But that’s not all, for if you ever feel any pain anywhere, it’s probably a heart attack, so call 9-1-1 immediately, or else you’ll die!
So that is what they say, basically. They’re not as paranoid sounding as I just wrote, but those are the symptoms, and that’s probably how most people would react to these symptoms if they were brainwashed into thinking they were having a heart attack every time they felt any of these things, which are very common, and could happen every day for many, many other reasons, most of which are extremely benign. But once they start worrying about this stuff all the time, the stress of it all really might give them a heart attack! Seriously, this is like cat-nip for hypochondriacs, and it’s even worse than the WebMD stuff that can trick you into thinking you have cancer all the time! If you’re prone to hypochondria, this is a nightmare, as seeing this commercial could really make anyone begin feeling these symptoms just out of a sense of panic and worry, even if they’re not really present!
Look, some of these symptoms really may be symptoms of a heart attack, but if every woman in the country called 9-1-1 every time they felt any of these symptoms, there wouldn’t be enough emergency-services employees to answer the phones and field all the calls, never mind having anybody left to actually go and try to save anybody! Plus, think of all the actual emergencies and accident victims this would put at risk by tying up all the phone lines for trivial nonsense! If nobody can get through to 9-1-1 because everyone is calling them every 5 seconds just because their arm hurts or they feel a little dizzy or nauseous, it really might end up killing people! Plus, if you call 9-1-1 again and again with trivial stuff that ends up being nothing, when you finally do call with an emergency, they’re going to think it’s nothing and not bother coming, like with “the boy who cried wolf”. So this is extremely irresponsible to run an ad like this, as it will likely endanger a lot more people than it will end up helping.
So when I see this ad, all I can think is that this must be a strategy for some government agency to make it seem like there is way more demand than there really is or should be for financial support for their agency, so they can justify further deficit spending for their department. I mean, what else am I supposed to think? This ad is encouraging hysteria and the wasting of critical resources! They’re basically telling women that almost any trivial discomfort is a heart attack, and that they should demand emergency services immediately! That’s just flat-out hysteria, and it’s irresponsible not to at least suggest that they ought to be relatively certain that it’s not something else before they waste emergency responders’ time! I mean, they’re actually telling women that they shouldn’t “make the excuse” that it’s something else that they know it might be; that they should just immediately jump to the conclusion that any ubiquitous symptom, no matter how insignificant or generic, must be a heart attack that’s killing them (!): How unreasonable and irresponsible is that?
And why only tell women this? Do they hate all men and want them to die of heart attacks? Or do they think women might be more susceptible to this type of worry and suggestion? (If either scenario is what is going on, then it’s awfully sexist!) I don’t know, but I seriously doubt that the symptoms for a heart attack are all that different for men and women, but there’s only this ad for women, and no corresponding ad for men (at least not yet; not that I’ve seen). So what’s the deal here? I don’t know, but I smell a rat! (Oh, but maybe the olfactory sensation of rat aroma is a sign of a heart attack! Aaaaa! I’ve got to call 9-1-1!)
Here is the website for this government agency, and they list all the symptoms and stuff here (No, I am not making this up!):
