Hurricane Irene looks to be barreling towards New York City, and I think I know why. Mayor Bloomberg has begun a personal crusade against salt, mandating all kinds of stupid new nanny-state laws and regulations about it, and I think this has made Mother Nature angry. She created salt, and she’s tired of being blamed for all of mankind’s ills for blessing us all with delicious, wonderful salt. So okay, if Mayor Bloomberg is going to try to keep salt out of New York City one way, then Mother Nature is going to inundate the city in salt another way: through the flood of salty sea water in a Hurricane’s storm surge. I could be wrong about this, but it’s just too great of a coincidence to ignore, if you ask me. Yep, it’s clear to me that Hurricane Irene is Mayor Bloomberg’s fault for his stupid salt policies.
Also, Bloomberg is shutting the city’s subway service at noon on Saturday just because it’s going to be all flooded. Look, people still have to get around the city, and just because the subways are all flooded, that’s no excuse to wave the white flag of surrender! A bit of creativity would be nice, Mayor Buzzkill! How about replacing the normal subway cars with the cars from a water park log ride? Then people could have extra fun subway rides during the flooding! You’ve just got to use your noodle sometimes.
I’ve been watching CNN and Fox News for Irene updates, and while flipping over to Fox News from CNN, I would swear that I just saw Neil Cavuto accuse Janet Napolitano of “fear mongering” by telling people to prepare for the hurricane. I guess nothing is too universal to avoid partisan attacks about it, huh? Ridiculous! I think we can generally safely assume that nobody is going to use the run-up to a hurricane as a political opportunity for pandering. I mean, that's what the aftermath is for!
