(The language and content of this post may be offensive to some readers, so please don’t read it if you’re easily offended. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)
Summer’s Eve’s new ads have taken a thrashing from Stephen Colbert, and I’m afraid they’re in for one here too. But not the same ones. This is a different one. Care to see it? Here it is:
Okay, so they’re saying that for as long as history, men have fought and died for vagina (the ad says “the vagina”, but most guys would probably say “pussy”; and they’re the ones doing the fighting and dying, so they get to say what it’s about). I think that’s being rather crass about it, though. I would have said they were fighting and dying for love, honor, etc. But if we’re talking about fighting for a woman, I’d say it’s probably more about love, desire, etc. That’s what people are willing to die for, or haven’t women read poetry before? I wouldn’t be willing to die for vagina alone; sorry. I’ve had one-night stands, and they’re not worth dying for. Although plenty of people risk their lives just as much by using no protection during sex, but that’s another story. (Actually, this ad might be better as a PSA for that idea, rather than as an ad for a douche. You’ll see why in the next paragraph, if you haven’t thought of it already…)
But if they want to be unemotional about things, and bring them down to their most base, carnal level, then fine: they’re fighting over pussy. Whatever. Women seem to be able to take the romance out of every situation with their absolutely practical mentality about everything. So while they’re at it, acting like men are doing everything they do just so they can get some vagina, and they’re selling douches here, shouldn’t they just spell it out already, call a spade a spade, and say: “So after risking life and limb for it, it shouldn’t stink! If it stinks, that will make them feel they’ve done it all for nothing! And then they’ll tell all the other guys it’s not worth it after all, and we’ll become extinct. So Use Summer’s Eve, and keep those guys murdering for your vagina! Yeah! And with all this carnage over the vagina for so many years, is it any wonder blood flows out of it like it does? That’s the price you pay for making everyone kill over your sex organs: It’s a curse! And that’s why it stinks! So wash away that accursed stench with Summers Eve, and keep manipulating men into killing for you like you know you want them to do!”
I know: Pretty graphic and cynical, right? Well, they started it! This idea of the vagina being “the cradle of life”, “the center of civilization” and “the most powerful thing on Earth” is fine (it’s good, actually; it’s just too superficial and objectifying as it’s presented here), but they really need to try to balance it better against the douche idea, or else people will make jokes to fill in the awkward omissions, like I did. But I couldn’t help it. Really! Seriously: Look at that ad again, and tell me where I’m wrong. It’s like they’re turning the vagina into a “MacGuffin” here (as opposed to just a “muffin”, I suppose). Plus, check out how smug and self-satisfied these women are that men are fighting to the death over their vaginas (according to this ad)! If you ask me, this is what really stinks about these women: their arrogance and sadism. So maybe they need something else more than they need a douche: like some personality and compassion, perhaps. But in a world where everyone is motivated purely by carnality (like the one in this ad), things like that don’t matter much, I’d reckon. And that’s not a world with much hope for fulfillment. So maybe these guys are risking their lives more out of a sense of nihilism and hopelessness, longing to be released from such meaningless emptiness and superficiality, rather than even wanting or caring about getting any vagina. And maybe it’s more glory they’re fighting for, or testing their skills versus another expert (men do that a lot, even when there’s no sex to be had). But then again, they are men, so maybe it’s about vaginas too. (But wouldn’t it be funny if after all that, they couldn’t get it up, and they had to wait around another 500 years for Viagra? I say it would serve them right for killing another human being purely for a little sex!)
I would have thought it might have been less crass to think of it as men fighting and dying for love, and that perhaps the vagina was the sensual or corporeal reward for such an idealistic pursuit, etc. But to just say they’re fighting over vagina really, definitely makes women into simply a sex object, and that’s a concept I thought women had been trying hard to overcome; at least that’s what I was given to understand from feminist readings of things in History of Art and Psychology classes in college, etc. So it seems to me they’re being reduced to pure carnality in this ad, when they should be celebrated for more than that. That’s why perhaps the idea I mentioned above, of the experience of the vagina being a reward for the pursuit and struggle for love, might work better in this context. And it might make women feel they’re more than just the sum of their own “naughty bits”. Women are overly sexualized in our culture already without being victimized by their own hygiene product marketing. I know they were trying to make women feel empowered by the elemental force of their vaginas, but I think they’re actually being objectified instead by this crass, carnal view of things. I like the idea in this ad overall, but it’s too superficial in its presentation. I think it’s inadvertent, but it’s still a problem.
(BTW: That PSA for safe sex could show men in armor fighting over a woman, and then say how they protect themselves in battle, but they may be putting themselves more at risk of harm/death during sex if they don’t protect themselves in the bedroom.)
Oh, and another thing: I know I’m kind of hard on this ad, but actually, I really do like that they’re not taking the cheap route of trying to make women feel insecure about the smell issue. Personal hygiene product advertising has historically taken the route of “create an insecurity, and then provide a solution for it”: like with dandruff shampoos and the “that little itch could be telling you you have dandruff…” ads from yesteryear. Women are insecure about body image stuff and victimized by fashion and toiletries companies enough as it is. I’m just giving this ad a hard time for its little oversights as I see them, along with the fact that they’re supposed to be advertising for a product. But I’m just ragging on this ad’s problems (mostly) for fun. Their basic angle here is very good, and they’re taking the high road in a lot of ways, even if they are being crass in other ways. But I’d have a much less light-hearted barb for them if they tried to make young women paranoid about feminine odor to sell their wares. As much as I find to make fun of here, they’re going the opposite route from trying to create an insecurity, and for that, I say: “Thank you!” And it’s also nice to see a high-concept approach again that’s fun. (They usually aren’t fun. They’re usually just pretentious. And as jarring as that highfalutin Biblical Hollywood blockbuster feel being broken by the modern-day pharmacy location and perky, nasally, playful voice-over was, the idea of slamming the two things together was really a fun risk to take. I just think it was overly heavy-handed; kind of like ending a symphony with a game show music cue. But I like the idea.)
Like another take on this ad? Check out AdRants’s post here:
