I know: To a plastic surgeon, it probably sounds like a league of super-villains! But to me, it sounds like music to my ears! I’m tired of fake-looking mannequin-women! When the ageless witch from Dario Argento’s Mother of Tears had fake boobs, it just lost a certain amount of credibility for me. I mean, I was on board for the ageless witch stuff, and all the rest, but if she’s such a powerful witch, couldn’t she make her own boobs be naturally the shape she wanted them to be? Seriously: If she’s such a powerful witch, what does she need silicone implants for anyway? Just to make all of the other actresses and models feel more comfortable with it so they’ll all do it too? Then she’d really be evil! But maybe that was the point after all, and it was just too layered for me to get it…
Look, I’ve never been much of a Kate Winslet fan, but I am now! She did that stupid Titanic movie that launched Mr. Lame Ass on his big-time career of always being in our faces forever. And then she did that thing where she proved that if you’re willing to be ugly and naked enough in a movie, you’ll win the Oscar. Enough of that already! How about a performance in a good story? But if she’s spearheading this movement against plastic surgery, I’m with her! And she’s my new favorite actress, so long as I don’t have to watch any of her movies!
But seriously girls, remember Heidi Montag? Even she regrets her plastic surgery! And if someone that superficial and vapid can regret something like that, so will you! Just exercise and eat right, and you’ll be fine! And try developing a personality: that helps too! But surgery is dangerous, expensive, and just a quick-fix for a non-existent problem! Don’t do it! Go to school instead, or write that novel and self-publish it with the money! A brain is way sexier than fake tits any day! And nature is hard to beat! Be yourself: You’ll thank yourself for it later!
Here’s the news story I’m writing about:
And guess what just happened? Kate Winslet just barely made it out alive from Richard Branson’s burning mansion while she was on vacation! Could this have been a “message” from the federation of plastic surgeons? If she got burned, she might have had to go to them to have it fixed, and then they could have said that she was wrong all along and this proved it! Hey, you never know! Here’s that story:
