In the run-up to Hurricane Irene, all the news networks have been broadcasting from a location called: “Kill Devil Hills, NC”. This place seems to have a sinister-sounding name, until you find out about the surrounding towns and localities, like the nearby “Murder Satan Forest”, and neighboring “Torture Demon Brook”, in beautiful, scenic “Devil Worship Sacrifice Valley”. All of these places appear to have grown out of the more generalized area of “Satanic Cult Ritual Murderville”, a sleepy old town in coastal North Carolina, known for it’s lovely beaches, friendly residents, delicious seafood, vacation hotspots, and Satanic murders. They were trying to decide between calling it “Sea Breeze Dunes” and something about Satan, but then they decided on the Satan thing, because of some ancient curse threat or something. Then, the name became such a hot conversation starter and tourist attraction, that they decided to name all their nearby towns and such after devil-worship killings. And who can blame them, really? But shouldn’t they have a black metal festival in Kill Devil Hills? I mean, it seems to have been named specifically to attract such a thing, right? Oh, and a horror movie franchise too! That would be awesome.
Oh, and guess what else? Kill Devil Hills is where the Wright Brothers first successfully flew the very first airplane! It’s called Kill Devil Hills because after so many failures to create a viable airplane, the Wright Brothers made a blood sacrifice to the devil in exchange for the ability to fly. They named their plane the Kitty Hawk so people wouldn’t know about how they sold their souls to Satan and murdered someone to make their plane a success. But we all know about it now! They could only hide it for so long, when they named the place after their accursed deed! Oh, and after how much the airplane is used as a weapon of war, with so much blood on its wings, isn’t it obvious what happened? It’s a curse!
Here’s the Wikipedia page for Kill Devil Hills, but they get the history of the name wrong, I think:
