We see American cheese being processed and packaged, and then the announcer says that American cheese isn’t even real cheese, it’s processed crap! How un-American can you get? How dare they attack American cheese like that! Their cheese company must be a front for a communist plot! They’re trying to indoctrinate Americans against all things America, starting with American cheese! How dare they!? Oh, but they sneakily didn’t call it American cheese, just so we wouldn’t notice how unpatriotic and treasonous they’re being! They were hoping to get us to betray our country on a subliminal level! Those rats! (And rats love cheese, right? So they've exposed themselves as the rats they are!) But all patriotic Americans would instantly recognize American cheese for its patriotism! And only a dirty commie would attempt to question the integrity of such an All-American product! In fact, American cheese is so American, it’s probably made in China!
But after they’re done tarnishing the reputation and impugning the integrity of All-American, stars & stripes cheese, they claim that their cheese is always 100% all-natural cheese. But then they show a piece of cheese with little red and green flecks of herbs and stuff in it: A-Ha! Those herbs aren’t made out of cheese, are they? No! And they just said that their cheese is always 100% cheese! But herbs aren’t cheese, and in that piece of cheese, the herbs make up at least 1% of the cheese! So, then, they’re obviously lying when they say that their cheese is always 100% cheese! Gotcha, you lying commies! And after they tried to degrade and insult our great national cheese, too! Well, it serves them right to be shown up for the liars they are, after they smeared America like that! Traitors!
They must be part of the “Blame American Cheese First” crowd!
This ad isn’t available on the internet, but to prove it exists, and that I’m not just making it up to get revenge for their communist plot to take over America with cheese, here’s this webpage which shows a description of the ad, and then says they can’t find it either:
