He just won’t do it. They’re mad, but he’s an ornery old man, and he just won’t do it. And to make matters worse, he demanded they get off his lawn. Well, in light of this recent development, I’d say those Tea Partiers need a PR consultant to spin things their way and make this defeat look like a victory! And I’m here to help!
Okay, look: He won’t apologize for calling you “Hobbits”, but what does this really mean? Well, let’s look at the facts! In the book The Hobbit, a little guy (a Hobbit, if you must know) defeats a huge, dangerous, evil dragon, and takes back his stolen treasure. That’s kind of like when the Tea Party took away the (over-taxed) treasure of the federal government dragon, right? Kinda? Right? No?
Okay, maybe not, but they definitely stole the ring of power from that evil Sauron. Or the Hobbit did, anyway. And if they’re Hobbits, then they did it. And so they’re trying to destroy the “ring of power”, which obviously symbolizes the evil stranglehold the liberal government holds over America, right? So then they’re trying to destroy the evil ring, and so free us all from the tyranny of Democrats in general, and Obama in particular, who I guess is our Sauron. At least to the Tea Party. And did the Hobbits succeed in their quest? Yes, they did! And so did the Tea Party! (Or so they say…) So they’re just like Hobbits, and McCain was right! They’re just not well-read enough in the Tea Party to understand the reference, that’s all.
But I understand their outrage. After all, Hobbits are understood to be close to nature, and non-shoe-wearing hippie-types. And there’s nothing the Tea Party hates more than hippies! So it’s an insult, for anyone who hasn’t actually read the books (or stayed awake for the movies). But they are like Hobbits, saving us all from the evil Obama, and his ring of debt, or whatever. At least, I’m sure that’s what McCain meant. As a PR-spin guy, I’m sure, anyway. (But will the Hobbits now demand an apology?)
Here’s the Tolkien tale:
