Let’s be frank: Oscar Mayer and Sara Lee are suing each other over false advertising claims about their hot dog brands (Sara Lee owns Ball Park Franks). Now I always heard that nobody doesn’t love Sara Lee, but after this lawsuit, that’s going to be false advertising, since Oscar Mayer will hate her for sure! (Maybe Oscar Mayer can sue her back on that advertising claim!)
So what’s at issue here? Basically, Sara Lee is trying to say that it’s a lie that kids want to be an Oscar Meyer wiener, since that would suggest kids wish to be cannibalized by their peers. Then, I guess Oscar Mayer is mad because Ball Park Franks said they would poke the bricks out of people’s chimneys and ruin them (Remember? They plump when you cook ‘em: smash, smash, smash!), but that they don’t plump that much in reality. Or is that not what this lawsuit is about?
I think what’s going on here is that they both say they’re using 100% beef, but that they’ve both sent spies to check up on one another, and these spies have disappeared, presumably into the hot dogs meat! And they think that by filing suit soon enough, they can get to test the hot dog meat and see if it contains any human meat. But my guess is that these spies simply took a higher bid from the competitor and went off to some vacation destination for the whole thing to blow over. But I guess you never know…
So, if you’ve ever been fascinated by the horror movie and fantastic fiction claims that eating human flesh would grant you everlasting youth, perhaps now’s the time to test it! Hey, you never know! It could be true!
But this whole thing is pretty dumb, if you ask me. Anybody who makes hot dogs should want to suppress what goes into them as much as possible, I’d think. But by suing each other, aren’t we all going to find out how many stray cats, etc., go into them? It’s just a lose/lose as I see it. But what the hell: maybe we’ll all become vegans as a result! But I doubt it. (But hey: Could PeTA secretly be behind this whole thing? You never know! Maybe they’ve got a mole inside both companies!)
Here’s the story (Wiener dog fight!):
http://napervillesun.suntimes.com/business/7100534-420/sara-lee-and-kraft-in-a-wiener-dog-fight.html
BTW: If you don’t usually read the linked articles, you might just want to start with this one. It’s pretty funny, especially the judge’s behavior.
