I heard today fresh concerns about Libya’s chemical weapons. Some guy on some cable news channel was saying he was worried about this stockpile of mustard gas. I didn’t know that they still had that stuff anywhere, but I think I know how to deal with it. First, we should make a bunch of hot dog gas, then we could get our old stockpiles of ketchup gas, and then we could just ask to store them in Libya. We know they won’t be able to resist putting the mustard gas on the hot dog gas, and then putting the ketchup gas on it too. And then it will be really yummy together anyway, since we all know that the different condiment gasses neutralize each other and just end up smelling really yummy. But since they’re an Islamic country, we’d have to be sure that we only used 100% pure beef hot dog gas, or else we might end up insulting them (remember: no pork!), and we don’t want to do that. So, as long as we don’t screw that part up, it should probably end up working out fine, and all these poison gasses will simply combine into a harmless and yummy form of aroma therapy. Then we can use the resulting harmless hot dog scented perfume to attack vegans and humanely drive them out of California! (They’ve been attacking us for years with their bullying tactics and disgusting “food”!)
