Matt Damon was on The Daily Show last night, and he had a shaved head. Jon Stewart asked him why the shaved head, and Damon said it was because he just did a sci fi movie set in the future. So then Jon Stewart commented on how everyone always has shaved heads in dystopian future movies, and I wondered why that was. Well, I thought about it for a second, and I think I have the answer.
The reason everyone has their head shaved in futuristic movies is simple: hippie environmentalists will have made all types of pesticides illegal by then, so everyone will be infested with every manner of parasite imaginable: fleas, ticks, lice, bedbugs, crabs, ringworm, etc. And since there is no way to get rid of them, everyone has to shave their hair off to try to lessen it all. So it’s not because of an oppressive government that they have to shave off all their hair (well, indirectly it is, but not directly); it’s just that they have no choice if they want to reduce/mitigate the itching and infestation on their person. And based upon the way things are going, I’d say there’s only another few years left before we’re all going to be living in that world.
But not to worry: since all antiperspirants, deodorants and perfumes will be illegal by then too, you’ll barely notice the itching and creepy-crawling in such an oppressively and distractingly malodorous environment. And there's something else too: when people talk about how great things were in the good old days, pretty soon, they may be telling the truth!
