Tuesday, December 27, 2011

LA Stiffening Porno Regulations

While driving today, I heard on NPR that Los Angeles is tightening regulations on the porn industry with regard to disease control. Apparently, they don't want these slippery porno types evading the groping paws of the law! But is this just an example of out-of-control government trying to stick their fingers into everything? Um, I mean... Well, you know what I mean! Government regulations are strangling everything, and now porn? Oh, but I heard it actually feels even better if you get strangled while you're doing it, and that's why people do that auto-erotic asphyxiation thing. Um, where was I again? Oh, right: intrusive government regulations on the porn industry.

Apparently, there are already state and federal laws about this same stuff, but the government officials on NPR claimed the porn industry simply skirts these regulations by ignoring them, and there's no way to be sure everyone is complying. So essentially, they want to pass tighter municipal regulations to squeeze these guys into coming along with their health initiative. So basically, in order to enforce these new laws, they will use spontaneous, surprise "spot check" inspections on porno productions to be sure they're complying. I guess they're trying to catch them with their pants down, so to speak. Oh, but since it's porn, won't their pants just be down anyway?

I think this will work like this: a city inspector will make a surprise inspection of a random porno movie in the process of being shot. He'll walk in, say who he is, and then he'll approach the actors having sex in front of the camera. So then he'll ask them if they've had their required health checkups, etc., and they'll say: "Oh, yes, YES! Ahh!" And so the inspector will say: "That's good. Now you understand that this is for your protection, right?" And the actors will say: "Oh, yeah, oh, yes!" And the inspector will say: "Well, it's good that you young people are so enthusiastic about your health." I think that's probably about what it will be like.

Still, well-meaning or not, it's hard to believe this isn't just some bureaucrat's excuse to get some free jollies.