Santa's Goin' South

As we all know, global warming is making Santa's North Pole homestead unstable, seeing as how there's just water under all that melting ice. That's why Santa's moving to the South Pole after Christmas this year: there's a stable continent underneath the glaciers there called Antarctica! That way he can set himself up there permanently regardless of climate change, and we'll all still get presents and stuff.

Naturally, a move of this sort is apt to bring some change in a man, so if you see Santa's sleigh next year sporting some Yosemite Sam "Back Off!" mud flaps, or a bumper sticker that says: "The South Will Rise Again!", don't be surprised. And if you see Santa Claus in an Alabama Crimson Tide jersey*, or wearing a "Forget, Hell!" baseball cap, be assured it's still the same guy. It's just that he'll be from the South by then.

* I can tell Santa Claus is an Alabama fan because he wears the Roll Tide colors: red & white!