Vampires Behind the "War on Christmas"?

The ACLU and the federal courts have been more anti-Christ-y than ever lately, suing for or ordering the removal of a 90-year-old cross honoring WWI dead, other memorial crosses hinder and yon, manger scenes far and wide, and removing the word "Christmas" from school parties, etc. This could be explained by not wanting to exclude others who don't celebrate Christmas, but what if it's... something else?

Think about it: vampires are more popular than ever due to the Twilight phenomenon and the True Blood TV series, so perhaps that's gotten the real ones to start coming out into the open. And what do they see when they do? Crosses! They're everywhere! Aaaaa! And what do they hear? "Merry Christmas!" Aaaaa! And what else do they see? Manger scenes with baby Jesuses! Aaaaa! That's the guy who was on the cross that's the whole reason they can't look at them! And the word "Christmas" has his title in it too! Wouldn't it burn just as much to see a baby Jesus in a manger scene, or to hear "Merry Christmas", as it would to see a cross, if you're a vampire? Think about it!

So maybe they're all vampires who are doing all these anti-Christian things (!). And why might they be doing this stuff? Well, obviously so they can drink our blood with impunity! Well, I don't know about you, but I'm getting my stakes ready!