Happy 2012!

Hello loyal readers, and Happy New Year! This is the last one you're going to get (year, that is, if the Mayans are right, and how could they not be? They're so in vogue right now! And with the Mayans being so close to nature, it would almost be an insult to environmentalists to not end the world on Dec. 21, 2012! And the PC police can't let that happen!), so I hope you enjoy it! You've only got 356 days left,* so try not to spend too many of them hungover!

But if it doesn't end up being "the end times", not to worry, for there will still be a huge tragedy for us all to mourn: they won't be able to show those crappy Mayan Doomsday 2012 TV shows anymore (and have anyone pay any attention to them). So that means the "History" Channel will have to commission a whole new reality TV series like Axe Men or Ice Road Truckers: surely a fate worse than death for all of us!

* That's right, it's Leap Year, so you get an extra day! Yay! Kind of like having Daylight Savings happen the night before you're going to be executed: you get to worry about it and panic for a whole extra hour (or day, in this case)!