Friday, December 30, 2011

Mutant Bird Flu

Apparently, there is now a mutant bird flu. And like with the mutant Wolverine, it was created in a government laboratory. So now it's a supervirus! And that's not even the most troubling part of this tale! What's most worrisome is that through the X-Men movies, we've all been conditioned to side with the mutants! So now, when this mutant bird flu threatens humanity, will people attack doctors for trying to kill it? And since it's called "bird flu", will PeTA side with it over people? You never know!

But now that there are mutant viruses, will they form their own Superfriends-type group, the X-Viri? And will they be superheroes or supervillains? And will doctors be able to recognize the disease with it dressed up in whatever superhero costume it will be disguised in? Or will it be too late to save humanity once doctors figure out it's true identity: the mild-mannered bird flu? I guess we'll have to come down with the virus to find out!

Well, at least it's good to know that those evil government labs are still churning out these super bio-weapons! If they stopped, it could really hurt the economy! And without these super diseases to threaten the world with, then how could we ever expect to get away with never paying all our national debt to whoever we owe it to?

Yeah, thank the lord we've got these ridiculously immoral and dangerous secret military bio-weapons programs! If we didn't have these super viruses, I'd be sick with worry about our nation's future, rather than sick with, um, you know, like, a super virus.

Here's the supervirulent story: