A girl in Oregon
selling mistletoe to earn money to pay for her braces was told by authorities she
could not sell the mistletoe, but told she could legally beg instead if she
wished. Well, you know what’s going to happen here, don’t you? This girl will
reject society, and to punish it for its backward and oppressive policies, she
will devote her energies and entrepreneurial spirit to become the super
villain Missiletoe: the vindictive vigilante with the super boots
that shoot missiles at anyone who stands in her way! Bred by a nonsensical
society with upside-down values, rather than beg for money, she’ll take it by
force from the very repressive forces that sought to deny her an ethical method
of earning money!
Mark my words:
Society will pay for its betrayal of the American Dream when Missiletoe
comes to town! Hide your corrupt government slush funds, Missiletoe’s
come to kick some sense into you (and get some money for her braces)! And for
teaching her that hard work is punished rather than rewarded, she will school
the system on what injustice really feels like when it’s on
the receiving end! Yes, lock your doors and hide your misbegotten gains and
unethical policy record, Missiletoe has come to punt punk politician in
the pants!
(Of course this
is just a silly joke. But she might want to become a super
villain once she sees just how backwards the government is everywhere else
across the country.)
Here’s the
nonsensical news:
(BTW: I like to
make fun of stuff like this because government policies are stifling
business in this country, but I notice the story does not mention her calling
the local government to ask what she needed to do to get or waive the license
{unless they left that detail out}, but rather, it appears she went straight to
the news instead. It seems to me she is a very adept publicist, knowing Fox
News would pick up on this story to break nationally, as they habitually troll
their local affiliates to cherry pick this type of news to criticize government
red tape and such, and I notice her online sales skyrocketed after this story
broke. Could it be she is a genius at exploiting the current state of affairs
to her benefit? If so, she's an extremely adroit businesseskid. Add that to
hardworking, and the sky's the limit.)
