Ah, yes: The TSA now says we can bring pocket knives on the plane. Some think this is a bad idea, but they’re lame. Of course we should be allowed to bring knives on the plane! The Jets all carry knives in West Side Story, so it just makes sense to allow knives on jets. What if The Sharks attack? Why, Tony will be killed again! Oh, the humanity! And all because you wouldn’t let the jets carry knives!
Well, if you won’t allow the jets to have knives, this time you’re going to have to be the one who tells Maria about Tony’s death! (And she’ll pull a gun on you, and then you’ll wish you, as well as everyone else on the plane, had a knife!)
Oh, and just in case you thought this West Side Story reference is ill-considered, the TSA is also permitting baseball bats, golf clubs, hockey sticks, and anything else you might want to use in a gang fight, on the plane as well. No, really! Look:
Here’s the sharp, stabbing, stick-smashing, high-flying story:
