A woman clutching her daughter claims: “We got ADT because I
walked in on a burglary once.” And then she goes on to say how traumatizing it
was and everything. But you know, has she ever thought about how it felt to the
burglar? I mean, he was probably mortified and traumatized over having someone
walk in and show him up for the failed burglar that he is. His friends probably
all pick on him and beat him up now, and his father, the Hamburglar, couldn’t
be more disappointed in his son! How selfish of her, only thinking about
herself and her pampered daughter, and denying this deprived gentleman of his
fair share! Why, I think perhaps he should sue her for pain and suffering and
psychological trauma sustained when his burglary was ruined when she so
thoughtlessly and selfishly intruded upon his performance of his trade! He’s
probably scarred for life! And he’ll never feel safe and comfortable invading
the privacy of others again! Oh, for shame, Miss Upper Middle Class, caring
more about your possessions than you do about your fellow man! (Oh, the
humanity!)
Burglar, you’ve gotta sue her ass!
Here’s the stuff-stealing spot:
(Okay, I think this might be edited to put in a different
burglar. But that’s only because she has ruined the original burglar’s life!
After being seen on television in a commercial for a security service, everyone
recognizes him on the street and just calls the cops, even when he’s just
walking his vicious attack dog! I mean, what better proof do you need that the
burglar is the real victim here?)
