Ah, yes: it’s the real-life story of what really happened in Oz! Yes, all the residents of Oz were all overweight and eating junk food until Dr. Oz accidentally arrived, flying as he did through the use of his over-inflated ego and swelled head all the way to Oz, where he taught the local populace the correct way to eat and act and judge others, ruining all the plans of the wicked witches, who were manufacturing all this unhealthy junk food and encouraging all the fun activities. And so the people of Oz turned against the wicked witches and, pouring Big Gulps of Mountain Dew over their heads, destroyed them!
Oh, but then Dr. Oz banned the Lollipop Guild, told the munchkins they stunted their growth from smoking cigarettes (which they had never even heard of before), and forced everyone to eat apples, which got everyone put in the hospital by the merciless assaults from the abusive apple trees. And after this, he had to hole up in the Emerald City and hide behind a curtain, lest all those his advice injured find and get revenge upon him. And thus ensconced, he started a new TV show, where he berated people far and wide for their diet and behavior, spreading his sanctimony far and wide, and ruining the lives he claimed to save through constant harassment and denial of all the pleasures of existence.
And so it was that the evil of the wicked witches was replaced by a new triumvirate of evil, the three mad doctors: Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, and Dr. Drew, whose sanctimony knew no bounds, and none of whom ever let the absence of knowing the people they claimed to diagnose stop them from passing judgment upon us all.
The End.
(I’m just funning these great doctors: I’m sure they save the world every day on TV.)
