Wednesday, March 27, 2013

North Korean Threats Undermine Dennis Rodman’s Message of Peace

Dennis Rodman recently visited North Korea and returned to report a wonderful country led by a charming, cool dude. But since his return, North Korea has made threats to attack American military bases, to attack South Korea, and to nuke the United States, with the disastrous effect of making Dennis Rodman’s claims seem less credible. Are they doing this just to make Dennis Rodman look bad, and if so, does this not count as an act of war? I mean, making threats to murder millions of people with nuclear weapons and generally acting like a terrorist is disagreeable, but impugning the integrity of an American professional athlete is a crime against humanity indeed! Kim Jong-Un is lucky he’s not facing getting his ass whipped in a one-on-one basketball game.

But sadly, it could come to that kind of a battle: one-on-one on the basketball court. But if Kim Jong-Un is as good at basketball as Kim Jong-Il was at golf, we may get the international embarrassment of all time, after which we may have to destroy ourselves in shame. And perhaps, just perhaps, this is what all this bluster is all about anyway: to get Kim Jong-Un that one-on-one game he wants so he can show up American athletes for the phonies they are next to the might of The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea! (And if he won, maybe for once North Korean citizens might actually cheer about something without having to be threatened with torture and death in order to make them do it.)