In this addition to the guy-sitting-at-a-table-with-little-kids-in-an-elementary-school ad campaign for AT&T cell phone plans, the guy asks the kids which is better, being fast or being slow? So one little girl explains that being fast is better, because if you’re slow, you’ll get caught by a werewolf, it will attack you, and then you’ll become a werewolf, and you’ll have to try to imprison yourself indoors so as to avoid attacking other people, etc. And that’s a good point, but does having a cell phone make you run faster than not having one? No? So then wouldn’t it make no difference in your ability to escape from a werewolf if you get a cell phone plan from AT&T? And if you have a smartphone, wouldn’t you be more likely to be playing with your phone while a werewolf is rampaging around, so you wouldn’t even notice that there’s a werewolf stalking you, and so it wouldn’t even need to chase you, but rather, it could simply saunter up to you and bite you at will? (People ignore each other and play with their smartphones all the time as it is, so wouldn’t everyone ignore a werewolf too and just play with their phone?) And then wouldn’t you become a werewolf too, but then you’d chew up and destroy your phone all the time, and then you’d have to constantly buy a new phone to replace it, right? And so then getting a cell phone from AT&T would actually make you more vulnerable, rather than less vulnerable, to werewolf attacks, and much easier to catch as well, and cost more than not having a cell phone. (Not that having a cell phone from Verizon or T-Mobile would be any better, unless they stopped working long enough for you to realize there was a werewolf on the rampage and able to run faster than usual so as to escape its grasp, which is unlikely, as well as not currently being offered in competing cell phone plans.)
So this ad, while cute and charming, isn’t really a very good argument for getting a cell phone plan nor a smartphone from AT&T, now is it? Maybe it would make a good ad for an ATV-style motorcycle thingy for four-wheeling through the woods and the countryside in hopes of outrunning a werewolf, though. Or maybe a jetpack?
Here’s the false argument cell phone ad:
