This ad is kind of clever, saying as it does that nobody
will get a warning note about when their heat attack will come. But seeing
this, I have to wonder: did Bob’s administrative assistant send that note herself
just to punish him, and maybe make him worry himself into having a heart
attack? Because while this ad is acting like we’ll never know when it will
come, maybe Bob’s staffers hate him just enough to try to make it happen by
suggestion, just like the villains in one of those
scare-someone-to-death-for-an-inheritance horror/thriller movies from the 1960s.
So maybe Bob’s assistant is constantly delivering him
messages claiming he will get a heart attack. And originally it said “next year”,
and then “in six months”, and then “next month”, and “next week” and “this week”,
and finally she’s been working up to the note we see in this ad. And after the
events of this ad, the note says: “in five minutes…!”
Wow, what a psychological thriller Bob’s life is! I wonder
if he deserves it, or is his staff populated with psychopaths? I guess we’ll
never find out, because what does Bayer Aspirin care what happens to Bob, so
long as he doesn’t die of a heart attack on camera after using their product? But maybe his support staff
is hoping Bob will take too many aspirin and die of a hemorrhage or a bleeding
ulcer? (Those fiends! I knew they were up to something!)
Man, that Bob guy: he’s in for it no matter what!
Here’s the evidence of the conspiracy:
