Sunday, February 16, 2014

Bayer Bob’s Heart Attack Message Ad

This ad is kind of clever, saying as it does that nobody will get a warning note about when their heat attack will come. But seeing this, I have to wonder: did Bob’s administrative assistant send that note herself just to punish him, and maybe make him worry himself into having a heart attack? Because while this ad is acting like we’ll never know when it will come, maybe Bob’s staffers hate him just enough to try to make it happen by suggestion, just like the villains in one of those scare-someone-to-death-for-an-inheritance horror/thriller movies from the 1960s.

So maybe Bob’s assistant is constantly delivering him messages claiming he will get a heart attack. And originally it said “next year”, and then “in six months”, and then “next month”, and “next week” and “this week”, and finally she’s been working up to the note we see in this ad. And after the events of this ad, the note says: “in five minutes…!”

Wow, what a psychological thriller Bob’s life is! I wonder if he deserves it, or is his staff populated with psychopaths? I guess we’ll never find out, because what does Bayer Aspirin care what happens to Bob, so long as he doesn’t die of a heart attack on camera after using their product? But maybe his support staff is hoping Bob will take too many aspirin and die of a hemorrhage or a bleeding ulcer? (Those fiends! I knew they were up to something!)

Man, that Bob guy: he’s in for it no matter what!

Here’s the evidence of the conspiracy: