As people in California know, foie gras was banned here because it’s so mean to geese. Of course, geese are pretty darn mean too, but that would be judgmental, so we ignore that here in the Hippie State. But what if there was a way to be able to make foie gras of goose and duck livers that wouldn’t involve being mean to the birds? Would that be permissible?
Okay, so here’s my idea: free, all-you-can-drink bars for geese and ducks. After all, it’s tiring work flying around everywhere, so I’m sure they’d love a chance to wet their whistles. Plus, by drinking all those free drinks, they’d get cirrhosis of the liver, and when they die of alcoholic hepatitis, we could make foie gras out of their livers, which would likely be in about the same condition if they’d been force-fed.
Oh, I hear some people saying that this is also inhuman; but if that’s true, then how come we allow the same thing to be done to humans? (We don’t get to make the foie gras out of people, but we certainly let people drink themselves to death all they want, so long as they’re 21 or older.)
(BTW: Maybe California should officially change its name to the Hippie State, because as the Golden State, they sound too much like Wall Street tycoons and gold investment companies.)
Also, California could provide free, all-you-can-eat corn restaurants for ducks and geese. And like with the bars, the birds would do it to themselves, glutting their livers to pate perfection, and as such, it would not be cruelty to animals, right?
Also, California could provide free, all-you-can-eat corn restaurants for ducks and geese. And like with the bars, the birds would do it to themselves, glutting their livers to pate perfection, and as such, it would not be cruelty to animals, right?
