Apparently Russia and the United States are colluding to
throw the medals in figure skating in the Olympics this year, or so the
accusations go. But as ridiculous as it may sound on its face, could this be
true? Let’s take a look:
When you consider the diplomatic relationship between Russia
and the United States, it looks like we’re never on the same side of anything.
I mean, look at the Syrian Civil War, the Iranian nukes issue, the planned
mining rights of the Arctic: we don’t agree on anything! Oh, but that’s what they want you to think, for
this is all just a smokescreen for the real issue that matters: Olympic figure
skating results!
No, really: think about it. What are a few hundred thousand
lives or the misery of countless refugees compared to medaling in figure
skating, and dishonestly, no less? Yeah, I’m sorry, but skating trumps
everything, people, and you’re just going to have to get used to it.
The fact is, the whole Cold War was just a scam to get
everyone interested in Olympic rivalries for ratings. It’s true! (Okay, maybe
it’s not true. But it could be…)
The truth is, President Obama and Vladimir Putin decided
long ago to pretend to disagree on global diplomatic issues just so they could
cover-up their figure skating judging scandal. Anyone who doesn’t see this is
just deluding themselves.
Seriously: Once the Olympics are over, and everyone has
forgotten about the figure skating judging scandal allegations, Putin and Obama
will quietly agree on everything, and the world will become a perfect utopia of
peace and harmony, and no-one will ever die or suffer again. And when that
happens, like I know it will, then you’ll all see these allegations are true:
Russia and the U.S. pretend to disagree to cover-up their Olympics corruption!
It’s true. You’ll see… (And you’ll all be really embarrassed
when I am proven right!)
