I thought this was the Winter Olympics, so where's all the snowball fighting? I thought surely that was competitive sport. It was when I was a little kid. (Maybe it's too hard for adults?)
And what about the snowman building contest? That's not an Olympic sport? Why not?
And what about the write-your-name-in-the-snow-with-urine contest? That was always the best one!
What, it's just a bunch of people skating and skiing around in spandex? Some winter sport that is!
Dog sled racing? No? (I told you…)
(Just kidding: I like the Olympics!)
