(Actually, this first paragraph is about a new ad I just saw on TV for Crest White Strips. It’s not on the internet that I can find, so I can’t put a link in, and I don’t know what it’s called: sorry. The Snow White ad idea is mine, and is further down the page.)
A gorgeous woman uses Crest Whitestrips and some guy notices her and smiles at her in this new commercial for Crest Whitestrips. The thing about this ad that’s so refreshing is its honesty. Pretty women tend to make guys look at them when they’re pretty and stuff. Hell, they could have yellow teeth and it probably wouldn’t even make any difference! Um, I mean, it’s the whiteness of a woman’s smile that is the only reason men ever find women attractive! Sorry about that: I don’t know what came over me!
Yes, I’m afraid that if you’re beautiful and fit and have great style and lovely, shimmering hair, and dewy eyes, and ruby red lips, and seductive womanly curves, and all that other good stuff, well that’s nice and all, but it’s not going to cut it with most men unless you have snow-white teeth! Did you know that the fairy tale Snow White was actually about her tooth-color? Yes, it seems her wicked step-mother Queen lady was jealous of the glimmering whiteness of her smile, which is what Snow White was actually named for, and she tried to kill her over it! But little did she know that Snow White’s smile wasn’t naturally like that, for she used a magical potion spread upon strips of plastic that transformed her smile into the absolute pinnacle of whiteness! (Too bad it almost got her killed!) And the wicked Queen step-mother could use Crest Whitestrips herself and become the fairest one of all when she asked her dentist the next time! Or was that a mirror? Oh, never mind: perhaps what they meant was that she was looking at that little hand-held mirror the dentist sticks in your mouth when she was asking that question about her smile being the fairest and all, but she was actually speaking to her dentist interrogatively! Or whatever. Hey, it could be true; maybe the Brothers Grimm screwed it up, or did it wrong on purpose because they were mad at their dentist! You know that’s what happened!
Come to think of it, this Snow White idea would make a great, fun ad for Crest Whitestrips, wouldn’t it? It would certainly be better than acting like a gorgeous woman needs to bleach her otherwise perfectly good smile to get noticed! Even I know that’s silly!
So, okay, here’s my proposed Snow White Crest Whitestrips ad:
The announcer tells us that the wicked Queen has a beautifully white smile which she is very jealous of, and she’s known throughout the land for her ultra-white teeth, which are the whitest in all the land. The Queen asks her magic mirror: “Who has the whitest smile of all?”, and it answers that she does. Then one day, the Queen asks the mirror: “Who has the whitest smile of all?”, and it answers that a girl named Snow White does, and she’s called “Snow White” because of the radiant whiteness of her snow-white smile, and that the Queen’s smile is white and all, but it’s just not quite white enough anymore now that Snow White has horned-in on the tooth-whiteness crown. So the wicked Queen finds and confronts Snow White about this, angrily declaring that her teeth used to be the whitest, and Snow White tells her: “Well, my teeth aren’t naturally this way! My teeth used to be awful and yellowish, but I discovered Crest Whitestrips, and they magically transformed my teeth to snow-white!” And so the Queen, delighted by this revelation and wicked no longer, uses Crest Whitestrips, and gets a smile even whiter than Snow White’s, and they all live happily ever after! The End!
So this Snow White ad idea would inform the TV viewer about what the Crest Whitestrips do, and show a funny and memorable little vignette about how they work, and if people decide they want to try them, they’d definitely remember the ad and the product. And that’s why I think it would work really well as an ad for that product. Oh, plus, Snow White is in the public domain, despite what Disney might like to think! So as long as you don’t design the characters to look like Disney’s, the story part is free to use. (Except that I came up with it, so they should ask me first if they want to use it, and we’ll make a deal.)
