Okay, maybe it’s not the actual tagline, but I think it actually is. You see, it’s written on the stick. But there’s no rule that says you’re not allowed to write your tagline on a stick, is there? I didn’t think so…
So this is what I would call the “war crimes” ad. They have a sexy woman eating a Dove bar (the ice cream bar, not the bar of soap), and then on the stick, which she holds between her teeth like a pirate would hold a knife, it says: “Take No Prisoners”. Isn’t that against the Geneva Convention? They’re like terrorists! Oh, and they’re obviously the ones who are killing us all with the obesity epidemic! (Maybe that’s what they mean by “Take No Prisoners”: they’re trying to do us all in with obesity! Aaaa! Run! Oh, but we can’t run, can we, since we’re so fat from eating Dove bars!) Those bastards!
Or maybe could it possibly mean something else perhaps??? Maybe all they mean is that you’re not supposed to imprison people in ice cream, pour chocolate over them, and shove a stick through them. (Kind-of like what happened to Han Solo in carbonite in The Empire Strikes Back! In fact, maybe Dove bars are made by Darth Vader!!) Talk about death by chocolate! Now that really would be a war crime! A rich, delicious one, perhaps: but still a war crime.
Here’s the abominable ad (Abominable due to the suggested torture/murder, or because as a frozen treat, maybe it’s friends with the abominable snowman. In fact, maybe that’s how it kills you: It distracts you with creamy, chocolaty goodness, and then it feeds you to the Yeti! In fact, maybe that's what really happened to Luke Skywalker in that cave! You know it's true!):
