In this spot for Verizon, they attempt to show how Verizon’s network is faster than AT&T's for downloading stuff by having two guys in a firefighter rescue drill: whoever finishes downloading the same file first gets “rescued”. So there are two guys in this contest with the phones, and one guy is African-American, and the other guy is Asian. So for all of you who have seen this spot, we already know ahead of time who has to win, right? Because what happens to the loser? That’s right: He gets sprayed with the high-pressure fire-hose. So obviously they couldn’t show an ad on TV where a black guy gets sprayed with a fire-hose, since it would remind everyone of the civil rights demonstrations in the South in the 1960s, and that would (justifiably) lead to boycotts of their products. So the Asian guy loses and gets sprayed with the hose, which just makes me think: “Oh, there they go again! The American government’s abusing minorities with the high-pressure hoses again!” And I can’t help but think that, either, especially after how memorably these issues were handled on The Chappelle Show.
But why the hell are they using this firefighter “rescue” idea anyway? For one thing, there is no call to spray anyone with a fire-hose; and for another thing, it makes no sense, since they’re both in the same room, and the firefighters could just rescue both of them. If they wanted to show a sense of urgency, they should have had two teams of firefighters downloading the same files on the same model of phone (but one team using Verizon, and the other team using AT&T), where they couldn’t begin their rescue attempt until after the download had completed. And they could have had mannequins instead of people in the burning buildings, and the losing one would be all burned and melted at the end, whereas the winning team's would be completely unscathed. That way it would show the importance of the faster network. But this whole fire rescue idea, as it’s handled, is just dumb, in addition to bringing civil rights abuses to mind. Is that really the way they want to go with this?
If they really want to show a race for the fastest network speed, I think they should have a commercial with a drag race, where dragsters are at a starting line, and they begin downloading the same file at the same time. So the completion of the download is what determines when each racer gets the green light to start the race, and since it’s a quarter-mile drag race that’s finished in like 4 to 5 seconds, whoever finished the download first would obviously win (unless the first guy crashes his car like an idiot). There’s no racist undercurrent here with a drag race, and it’s dealing with speed and races already, since you’re using race-cars. Plus there’s checkered flags, hot-rod flames, squealing rubber, and all that other stuff we all associate with races and speed here, so it would work very well on all levels.
But hey: Maybe they just wanted an excuse to spray an Asian guy with a hose. (Notice that the firemen with the hoses are both white guys, so it’s definitely got a racist feeling to it, if you’re looking for one. So why use something that suggests that kind of thing at all? It’s just a bad idea.)
Here’s the ad. What do you think?:
Oh, and check out the Spanish-language version of this ad! They have the loser who gets hosed be a woman, so it’s like a wet t-shirt contest! Well, they couldn’t do that for English-language American television! Here’s the Spanish ad:
