I think they’re starting to take this whole anti-steroids thing a little bit too far in Baseball. Now some teams are starting to wear X-ray shirts that show all their organs through the shirt! I guess this has to be so they can see whether or not there’s any steroids in there or whatever, but this must be dangerous, right? And surely it’s more dangerous than steroids!
And steroid-free baseball is dangerous for fans! People will go to games and get so bored there watching people not doing amazing things for hours, they’ll be too tired to drive home safely and they’ll all wreck and die on the roads, killing everyone else along with themselves! Between this and NPR, the road will be the most dangerous place on Earth! People will be falling asleep left and right! Pretty soon, they’ll start putting little pillow headrests on the tops of driver’s seats in cars! What? They do that already?! Then it’s definitely a coördinated conspiracy! They’re trying to kill us all! Aaaaaa! Run! (But don’t use the roads, as they’re too dangerous!)
Here’s the story:
