The very first same-sex couple was married in New York Sunday, and you know what that means, right? That’s correct: It’s a great time to be a New York divorce lawyer! (It’s also a long overdue awarding of legal equality. But with all the dollar signs you’d be seeing in your eyeballs if you were a divorce lawyer, you might not even notice the part about rights and stuff.)
So, today was reportedly a record for the most couples signing up to be married in a single day in the state’s entire history! And when something like that happens as a result of a newly permitted marriage right, you know tons and tons of people are going to be rushing into marriage just because they finally can, and not because they ought to. Kind of like what probably happened on the day Prohibition was repealed, where I’d make the educated guess that everybody went out and drank too much, rewarded the next day with a hangover that probably made them wish it had never been repealed. (That’s not a knock on gay marriage, by the way: I support it!) So many of these marriages will not last very long, and once they’re over: cha-ching! (cash-register sound-effect) There will be lots and lots of work for divorce lawyers separating lots and lots of unhappy couples. But they would have been a part of history, so it will have been worth it, I suppose. And surely the honeymoons will be even sweeter than usual after such an unfairly prolonged wait.
Oh, but hasty same-sex unions won’t be the only ones dissolving as a result of this marriage gold-rush. Plenty of conservative straight couples will fall apart, too. You see, for years, they’ve been saying that permitting same-sex marriage would “cheapen” so-called “traditional marriage”, right? Well, they don’t want to look like a bunch of liars who have been called on their bluff, do they? Of course not! So to prove the worthlessness of their marriage in light of this new development, they’ll all race out to get divorced! You know it’s true! Family, love and commitment be damned: there’s a point to be made, and a battle to be fought in the “culture war”!
So, like I said: It’s a great time to be a New York divorce lawyer! After all, the very first same-sex couple ever legally married in the United States got a divorce. And they fought hard for years to win the right to get married in the first place! So there’s bound to be an avalanche of divorces soon to come, and the divorce lawyers will be giddily driving the snowplows all the way to the bank! If misery loves company, divorce lawyers work for that company.
Here’s the story about the first wedding of the day:
Don’t believe me about the first legally married same-sex couple in America getting divorced? Here’s that story:
