A woman is attacked by a giant crab claw in this horrifying commercial for Joe’s Crab Shack. Well, okay, it just knocks her down, really. But it knocks her groceries down and they all spill out of the bags and all over the parking lot! Man, if that happened to me, I’d want to get revenge by eating some crabs! And, oh, you know what? There’s this place called Joe’s Crab Shack where we could go and murder and eat some crabs to get revenge! Awesome! (Up yours, PeTA: If you don’t want us killing and eating giant crabs, then you should teach them some #@&$ing manners, you lazy whiners! Why do you always “blame humans first”? {That’s a joke on the “blame America first” label thingy conservatives like to say about people who criticize America.})
Actually, this ad is a lobster snuff film, so I can understand why PeTA would be mad. {If they're mad.} (They’re just dropping one into a pot of boiling water on camera! Those maniacs! Or did the lobster agree to do that scene just to be on TV? It’s hard to tell, since a lot of humans would probably agree to that in an attempt to become a reality-TV star!) So why don’t you make some more “naked celebrity” posters browbeating us into eating only grass or whatever? Or do you guys even care about crustaceans? They’re not cute and fuzzy, so you guys might just torture them to get your aggressions out (after taping a human face onto them, of course), or at least hate them for being ugly, for all I know. I mean, when you’re not lording it over carnivores, that is.
Here’s the ad:
And here’s another one:
