In flipping channels yesterday evening, I saw some guy named Paul Gigot talking about the potential downgrade in our credit rating, saying that it will be different from the “gold-plated credit rating” we’ve been used to for so long. Now, I only heard him for a few seconds, and I knew our national credit rating was in trouble, but “gold-plated”? It’s only gold-plated? I thought it was supposed to be a solid gold credit rating! But if it turns out that it’s just been gold-plated the whole time, aren’t the credit ratings agencies going to think we’re scamming them about lots of other stuff too? I mean, if we’ve been trying to fool them with electroplated crap credit, then what aren’t we cheating on? And if it's only gold-plated, then is Fort Knox really full of gold? Maybe Goldfinger really stole it all and they covered it up!
And wait a minute: Did Paul Gigot just let the cat out of the bag there? I’ll bet Moody’s wasn’t supposed to know about that! When they find out it’s just gold-plated, aren’t they going to downgrade us to DDD just out of feeling angry and insulted over being fooled like this publicly? So this is all Gigot’s fault! Everybody’s been pointing fingers at President Obama, or Speaker Boehner, or the Tea Party, when it’s been Paul Gigot all along who’s been getting us in trouble! Shame on that guy!
