It’s shocking, isn’t it? After getting all mad when students cheat, it turns out that the teachers are cheating too! I guess they’re just mad when students cheat because it’s their (teachers’) job! Must be union rules or something.
But this is to be expected, I suppose, when things are set up the way they are. As it is, the schools with the highest scores get more money, since failing schools obviously don’t need any money, right? Um, wait… Oh, never mind. Yeah, like George C. Scott said in Patton: “Americans love a winner, and will not tolerate a loser!” So that’s why failing schools don’t get any money, I guess: they’re losers.
But when you think about it in a pragmatic way, shouldn’t the schools with the lower test scores get more money, since they obviously need more help to educate the students? Am I crazy here, or are the successful schools just fine? Maybe I’m missing something here, but it seems like the failing schools are the ones who need the help, and thus should get more money.
Oh, but if you set it up like that, there would be problems. For you see, we all know teachers always cheat, right? This new revelation proves it! So then if they set it up right, they’d all cheat all the kids’ test scores down, so they’d all be failing, and that way they’d get more money! So then they’d be just like the students, with that cavalier “Cool: I failed!” attitude, bragging about how badly their classes failed the tests, and trying to out-stupid each other’s schools. So there would be a race to the bottom, so to speak. And as a result, everyone would become a bum. Then, America could finally earn the stupid, spoiled reputation we enjoy around the world!
Here’s the story:
