Thank God for the government’s proactive protection and precipitous prosecution! Once again, some criminal children tried to get rich quick off of crime, but Uncle Sam said: “No way!” Thank God! We might have been killed by these little scamp Scarfaces!
So what did they attempt to perpetrate, these mini-mafiosi? Well, the treacherous tykes (brace yourself!) tried to sell lemonade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!! We could have all been poisoned!
Well, this is good, right? Teaching children it’s evil to try to earn stuff is just the right thing to do! Surely there must be some kind of welfare program they can go on if they want stuff. How else are they supposed to learn that Capitalism is evil if they’re allowed to profit through hard work and enterprise? It’s just plain wrong! Plus, they might learn to be self-sufficient, and we can’t allow that! This is obviously the ultra-left-wing, communist government in Texas that’s going too far in their efforts to stamp out success and profit in business!
Oh, that’s right: I said Texas, so you know they hate business and love Communism! Yes, these Lenin-lovers are trying to stamp out the American Dream once and for all! If you punish enterprising young entrepreneurs at an early-enough age, you can kill forever their positive work ethic! Plus, if you make examples of them, you can kill it in all the other kids, too! And that’s what America needs, if we’re going to become the new Greece! And we must become the new Greece, with a horribly unsustainable welfare state, or else Fox News will look silly (what with all their claims that we’re headed there)! And we can’t allow that, now can we? No sirrie!
Oh, and the kids were also fined $50! So that will learn them that work will cost them dearly from now on! Good going, Trotskyite Texas! Keep them kids from earning an honest dollar! And taser them tots too! (Mmm! Taser Tots!)
Here’s the notorious news item:
But this is nothing new, for the cops came down hard on kids in Georgia just recently! See?:
